The world of JULIANA

In retrospect….the w’kend was quite eventful as Robz and I had just hosted a li’l Thanksgiving lunch in conjunction with our 3rd year wedding anniversary. I remember havin’ gone to quite a number of fancy meals over the w’kend as the families (immediate & in-laws) took turns to take us out for delicious meals.

Then, there was that dreadful phone-call. It was approximately 5.10am on Monday morning, and Grandma ( we affectionately called her Patti) had a heart attack just 1wk prior to tht. The moment Robz picked up the phone and said, " Oh my God. " . I knew it was bad news. Mom was hysterically crying on the other side of the phone, and in the stillness of dawn, being rite next to Robz, I knew wht had just happened. For the next 2hrs after that phone-call, I think I was in denial. Numb. In shock. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t accept the fact that my Patti had just passed away. Called up boss(es) at work and told ‘em ’bout the incident and thankfully, since I don’t work in hospitals, I didn’t have to worry ’bout who ‘d be replacing my nite-calls in the wards,etc.

I knew for sure that I wanted to play an active role in the prayers and funeral service, ‘coz Patti always enjoyed listening to me play the piano rite frm the time I was a child. The journey back to Ipoh was awful. Very very saddening.

Just 1wk before that, I made a trip to Teluk Batik, Perak for a work-related course and I made a diversion (it took ’bout 1 1/2 hrs of additional time) frm that journey to spend a whole day with Patti. We shared a very magnificent day indeed. I took Patti (and Aunt Gnanam) to church, and li’l did I know that my trip to church with Patti that Sunday would eventually be the VERY LAST TIME she walked into her church alive. Patti insisted on taking me out for delicious South Indian food at Lotus Restaurant. So off we went to the nearest Lotus restaurant.

Patti ordered lassi & we had a sumptious cuisine of banana leaf meal. Patti then insisted on being taken to Billion (a mini-TESCO equivalent in Ipoh) as she wanted to get Johnson’s Baby Powder (her favourite powder) whilst there were some discounts. We shopped and shopped for hours. I even picked a few blouses for myself and asked my 83 year old Patti her opinion on ‘em (style,colours,etc) and she very spontaneously gave cute comments. Then, we came back home, and Patti insisted on making HOT paal appam (Indian pancake) fresh frm the stove ,just for me. I didn’t wanna dampen her enthusiasm and so I obliged. Li’l did I know that those paal appam’s would indeed be the VERY LAST appam’s I’d ever eat frm Patti’s cooking.

2 days afta tht trip to Teluk Batik, she had her first heart attack. She was rushed to hospital in time and received all the necessary treatment. She was even discharged well and 3days later, had her 2nd heart-attack. By the time the ambulance arrived, she had already breathed her last breath and was pronounced dead. Right within the ‘comforts’ of her own home.

Patti was very involved in church activities. Even in my teens, whilst I was browsing thru’ CLEO magazine, Patti would be industriuosly studying up the Bible Verse for her annual church "Memory Verses Competition" . Not surprisingly, she always emerged the champion not just in her church, but at local and national level competitions too! She was also the Women’s Fellowship President for years in her church. At 26yrs old, she was perhaps, one of the youngest widows I’ve known/heard of as my Granpa had died in a terrible road accident . . . . she had to raise FIVE DAUGHTERS (my Mom being the eldest).She single-handedly raised all her five daughters with the meagre income that she got frm Granpa’s pension. Indeed, Patti was a very strong woman, both physically and mentally/spiritually. She will ALWAYS be my role model, as I’ve always looked up to her .

When I was studying in UK, she’d write me hand-written letters 2-3 times a month!! Whether or not I sent her replies, she’d regularly write letters to me with the latest news and events. Patti had one of the prettiest hand-writings I’ve seen in my life.

Patti had the most cheerful chuckle that would brighten anyone’s day up. She loved joking around, and always laughed. She was a very content, happy lady, who was just thankful for all of God’s blessings in her life.

As I walked into her home, on the day of her death, it was with a very heavy-heart that I stepped into that very living room, where in the past, I’d see Patti running to come and give me a warm hug and kiss my cheeks upon my arrival. This time, instead of my Patti running up to me, there were ’bout 20 people seated around the living room. And right in the centre of that room, my Patti lay there, in a brown coffin. There were so many fresh flowers around her. She was adorned in a gorgeous purple saree and looked resplendant. She was ‘covered’ with a very delicate pink saree (which I was later informed, was her WEDDING saree). She looked so calm. She died a peaceful death, and she died within the four walls of her own home. That was exactly what she wanted. Not many people on earth get to die the way they want to . Some have very untimely, unexpected, shocking deaths (road traffic accidents, suicides,etc). In Patti’s case, she had certainly lived her life to the fullest, and watched all of us grow over the decades.

She was there for us thru’ all those good and bad times. 3yrs ago, on my wedding day, Patti turned up in a cement cast(POP) & arm sling as she had fractured her elbow from  a nasty fall just days prior. She was determined to be present at her very first grand-child’s wedding and wouldn’t miss the world for it. Li’l did I know that exactly 3yrs later, I’d be standing at the cemetery, watching my Patti being buried 6ft under.

I’ve been in such a daze over the last 1wk. I just can’t imagine that my Patti isn’t here with us anymore. I can’t imagine that in future, when we go to Ipoh for a trip, and when we walk into that home, Patti won’t be around to greet us.

I could write for hours on Patti,reminiscing on all those good times. Perhaps I shall periodically be updating this blog with memories and thoughts of her.

Ultimately, now that she’s gone, we can only cling onto all those beautiful memories with her. . . .to cherish it forever and ever. Till we all meet her in Heaven someday.

Patti, I love you so much and I know that even now, you’re looking down from Heaven, and you’d always watch over me. I wish you were by my side….but I know that you’re no longer in pain and that you’re happy. . . . I love you Patti.